The Five Love Languages
There are many languages in the world. People all over the world use spoken languages, sign language, body language etc. Unfortunately not so many people know about so called love languages. There are five main love languages. They are: quality time, helping hand, giving gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch.
Quality time is very important for many people, especially children. It really is not hard to understand: people want their loved ones to spend time with them. It doesn’t really matter what they do together, they may go shopping, watch a football game, go out for dinner, bake a pie for family holidays or do whatever else one can imagine. What matters is that both people enjoy the way they spend their time together. Things of common interest are hard to find sometimes, but it is always possible. For example if I like watching movies and my sister likes shopping, watching a movie will be fun for me, but certainly not for her, she won’t feel appreciated. But if we go shopping together, we both will have fun and she will feel loved.
Helping hand is another love language. Some people feel needed and loved only when someone helps them to do something. For example parents can help their child with homework, or a husband can do the laundry while his wife is at work, she will definitely appreciate it when she comes back.
Giving gifts needs not to be explained. It is obvious that everyone loves to be given something, to be surprised. For some people gifts are more important than for others. If a girlfriend speaks “giving gifts” language and her boyfriend ignores or simply has no clue about it and never gives her gifts except for only Birthday and Christmas, they might face a problem one day. On the contrary, if he always has a surprise for her (and it doesn’t really matter whether it is an expensive piece of jewelry or a flower as long as it is put on regular basis) she will be always happy and willing to be “miss right” for him.
Words of affirmation we need to hear everyday. When we face difficulties, we always need someone to support us, but there are people for who words of affirmation are the source of their success. For example my Dad can says to me that I’m the best daughter ever. His words will inspire me to do my best at school, to be the best at home, to keep my room clean etc. But if he doesn’t repeat it as often as I need to hear it, I may start thinking that he doesn’t really care for my success and stop trying to be “his best daughter”. Unfortunately people often forget to tell each other how loved and important they are. Words of affirmation need to be told every single day, even if sometimes they do not correspond with the truth.
Physical touch is probably the most widespread love language in the world. At the same time it is the language that many people do not or for some reasons are afraid to speak. One touch of a hand, one warm embrace, one kiss can say more than hundreds of words. When a husband comes home after a busy day, he doesn’t want to hear a lot of talk. If he speaks “physical touch” language, the best thing his wife can do is simply to give him a hug and tell him how much she loves him.
We may speak all of these languages, we may speak one more than another. It is crucial to discover what language we speak and what language our loved ones speak. Once we discover it and imply our knowledge, our lives and the lives of our families will never be the same.